Chapter 8

Shan Dhu’s Return

“If you think of me, if you miss me once in a while, then I’ll return to you. I’ll return and fill that space in your heart” – Tracy Chapman

 My love affair with sight hounds began late in 1967 when my first Afghan hound puppy came to live with me. I was 20 years old, on three weeks’ annual vacation and in the first days of this vacation went to choose my puppy from the breeder. He was a sweet little boy, about twelve weeks old, black masked gold, and he stole my heart. I named him Shan Dhu.

 Shan learned quickly, to sit and stay, and to offer his paw to shake hands. He was a delight. When it came time for me to return to my job at the end of vacation, Shan was left home alone.  He became lonely during the day and started to try and dig out to find company. We kept plugging up the holes, but one day my neighbour told me that Shan had managed to burrow under the fence to play with her dogs. So we doubled our efforts to keep him in.

 One evening I returned home from work to find the yard empty, so I began calling to him, and my partner visited our neighbour. He came back with the dreadful news that Shan had dug into her property again, but this time he had got onto her driveway, ran directly onto the road and was killed by a passing car.

 My grief was great and even then I didn’t understand that what I had done was not right. To my sorrow, my consciousness and understanding were just not at that point of knowing that as much as I loved him I should never have considered having a puppy when I still worked a full time job where he would be left, and especially at such a tender age, alone all day.

 I take comfort in Louise Hay’s teachings that “We do the best we can with our understanding at the time, and when we know better, we do better”. The animals who share my life now have the benefit of my increased awareness and life experience, and for that I am grateful to the teachers I have had in this time. However, I know too that I still do not know it all and that I will no doubt learn different and better ways from the animal companions who continue to grace my life.

 My family have always said that as soon as I could walk I would hug dogs, and they must’ve all been strangers because we didn’t ever have a family dog until I was close to ten years old. Love them I did, and still do, but now it is with the understanding of them as beings who are not just companions for us, but also need our companionship, love and respect.

 It was Shan who taught me this very painful lesson. Thirty something years later he trusted me enough to return to me. This time he came to me with baggage, at the age of three and a half years. He came as Shanti.

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